Things will irritate us, we all know that. Our boss. Traffic. Dropped calls. We can easily name dozens more of life’s little annoyances that drive all of us crazy. It is how we deal with them that makes the difference.
When we get bothered by these things, we snap out of what I call our “place of peace.” That is the state in which we feel good, happy, fulfilled and calm. It is the time when nothing bothers us and things seem to go our way, and if they don’t, that is fine too. We are more open, creative, giving, and connected with others. It is the place in which I try to always live my life, but in those moments I get bumped out of my “place of peace” I turn to the following method to get me back there faster.
Ask yourself if you are hungry or tired. Those two states can greatly affect how we see the world and respond to it. If so, grab a snack or take a nap. Otherwise, read on.
Put things in perspective. You are in a hurry to finish shopping at the grocery store, and the checkout line is 15 customers long. You feel yourself starting to get anxious and impatient. You wonder why the store manager has not opened another checkout lane. You are irritated! STOP. Ask yourself, really, how big is this in the grand scheme of things? If paying takes five more minutes, how much of an impact is that going to have on the rest of your day? Talk yourself down from the cliff, put down the BBQ tongs, and relax. Use this time to think about positive things in your life or to call a friend you have been meaning to catch up with. I promise you the line will seem to move faster while you are on the phone.
Recognize when you can’t change a situation. Whether you get angry or not, the world will nearly always continue along in the same way. We like to think we have control because that makes us feel important. The truth is that traffic will not move faster because you are getting hot-headed in your car. All you are doing is driving up your own blood pressure. We do have the ability to affect some situations. If you can do something calmly and politely to makes things go your way, great! Otherwise, take a deep breath and enjoy the ride.
Cut the drama. People love to stew in the drama. Something happens that we don’t like, and we call our best friend to rehash the story. We share all the details with our mom, co-worker, other friend, bartender, and the person we just met at a coffee shop. Anyone who will listen! Every time we rehash it, we live through it all over again. If I recall, it wasn’t fun the first time, so why would you want to relive it over and over? Tell someone the story once. Come up with concrete actions you can take (if there are any) to resolve the issue, and then move on.
Work on moving on. Sometimes things can get stuck in our minds, and we feel like we just can’t get over them. Moving on is easier said than done, right? Try reminding yourself of all the advantages to just letting go. You’ll feel better. You can enjoy doing something else. You can learn something interesting from a friend. Switching your focus will potentially open you up to a fresh, new, positive subject or activity, and bring you back into your “place of peace” faster.
Just like with exercise for the body, this is an exercise for the mind. It takes work. These techniques get easier with practice. The more you use them, the faster you will be able to get back to your “place of peace” and feel good again.
